I Love My Cellular Device

Minus the future brain cancer risk, cellular devices are awesome.

Last week, I saw someone from my past twenty feet in front of me. We were clearly going to notice each other, but, I had something in my pocket that saved the day. It was my Blackberry Flip. I whipped it out and opened its clam goodness and pretended to be in deep text message mode. Thus a mundane conversation I did not want was avoided.

There is always the faux call or text option. If you're having a bad date or something one can always pretend you just received a call by setting the alarm ahead of time or just pulling it out and pretending you got an urgent text about a relative or friend in need and you need to leave early. Now the awkward goodbye is avoided as you've just got yourself out of an evening going nowhere where you don't feel a thing for the other person.

Then we have the bar situation. You are at some drinking hole and your friend has disappeared or is talking to some lady. Why not pretend you're in an amazing text message conversation? It beats having people come up to you trying to converse with you and is an amazing tool to get away from any trolls.

Sometimes the phone can be used as an asshole prop. For instance imagine you're being harassed by someone whether it be male or female. You can pretend you just got a call from "reality" and use the one second hand gesture to the person while they clearly hear what you have to say: "Oh it's my friend reality and it says you're not in it." This can be used in situations when the individual is harassing you or you're heavily annoyed at their futile attempt.