50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

Tonight I went out with my pal tonight.

Let's get to earlier in the night. I picked up my pay cheque and apparently that Sara girl still works at my part time job establishment. Truth be told I want inside her knickers.

As she was passing by I think she said excuse me and I said yeah that's right or something in a dick tone. I guess I was playing bad cop tonight or something. I don't even know why I made that comment.

I agreed to come back and meet my pal afterwards, to go to some bar for drinks.

On the way to the bar I see a baby raccoon trying to chow down on la garbage. Needless to say he did not want to stay as humans approached. I guess I was feeling animal interpretative or something and stopped, picked up some stick and used it to poke the garbage bag in its direction. However, the stick poking and moving of garbage frightened it a bit, which was not my intention.

We get to the bar and I notice some lady that said I kissed like a door knob in grade ten at the bar. Real nice I thought. I did a double take of her. If she was going to say something I believe she clearly knew it was me or didn't as my hair is long now.

Tonight at the bar apparently it is acoustic white dread guy night. The dude is strumming his guitar getting on my nerves then he busts out some Shine by Collective Soul. Two attractive ladies with their fat friend begin dancing.

The conversation between my buddy and I continues. I decide to request some music instead of letting the most attractive of the three ladies keep requesting and getting songs. They appear to be in a tête-à-tête that is going nowhere as he doesn't know the songs of her request. I come over and ask about some Simon & Garfunkel and that 's is when she interjects and says 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, he doesn't know any of those tunes. I then ask about David Bowie or Cat Stevens, none of them either. The attractive lady interjects about how we are apparently on the same music wave length. This was the point where I should have said I believe we are milady let's talk tunes, instead I just agree and walk away. The security bouncer guy gives me a right on about the Simon & Garfunkel.

My favourite song by Simon & Garfunkel is America.David Bowie does a sick version of that tune.

The acoustic guy then starts playing a Drive My Car by the Beatles. I sit back and as Glenn Frey (and Jackson Browne who wrote the majority of the song minus the quote) would say: "It's a girl my lord..." The attractive wave length lady is at our table.

The lady asks me to dance. Like a moron I say: "I'm white I can't dance," and I believe she said that's no excuse. Again, being a dense idiot tonight I remain seated. Maybe, tonight was an off shy night. Regardless, my friend rightfully tells me that was stupid to not dance with her. I guess I am still self conscience with that and since I was driving I couldn't get wasted, thus giving me some liquid dance confidence. In fact, I legitimately liked this lady that approached me.

I didn't even have to do the Glenn Frey wink he does at "One Says She's A Friend Of Mine" bit featured in the above image and linked up to the youtube video.

Here is a fact, I don't know if I mentioned it before. When an attractive lady approaches and we converse or I do the approaching, Take It Easy by The Eagles always plays in my head. Maybe, it's my way of doing what the song says or the it's a girl my lord in a flatbed Ford line, either way it's a confidence booster.