It's been a long time

 I don't know why I stopped writing. 

Maybe, it's because the doubt crept in.

You get further away from where you were.

Was I ever good? Did I do it at least ok? 

It doesn't matter. 

Maybe, I'll be back more. 

What's weird is memories.

How something just rears its ugly head. You suppress that day. No I won't think about it. No I don't want to think about it. Here it comes. The flash back. Time might have taken away some details. As you type this you remember the shirt you had on. Lululemon black sport shirt. 

You just left the Vet in your truck. It felt like the air conditioner wasn't working. You crank down the windows.

You get home with your buddy, and pal. 

It happens. 

I don't want to remember this.

What could I have done different. 

You feel it now. You suppressed it all day.

There it is. That emotion. The tear comes down your face.

I don't want to feel this.