It has gotten old. Sexual relations with no feelings.
Three times was decent. It was like room temperature ya know? Decent, but, there has to me more to it I pondered. Nothing taken away from the lady; she was nice.
I haven't had feelings for someone in a long time. Maybe since last year?
Hayley might have been her name. She cared apparently about me? That was weird.
It is rather weird that a lady I was in love with perhaps? Or was it infatuation? I have her birthday as my online banking password. I haven't gotten around to changing that. 2009 called they want my password back. Madison was her name. Literally, one of the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and not just that, but uber talented. Hopefully, she has beaten the demons she had when I knew her. That situation was weird partially on my part.
When you like someone as they interest you that's really awesome. Maybe it happens once in a blue moon. Perhaps, it takes time. I don't know the winning formula for it.
I can say that sex without emotional attachment is fun while in the moment. During the afterglow, that's when reality sets in. The what am I doing here in this bed? Doesn't this get old? There is more than hook ups.
The responsibility lies solely on myself more than likely.
I've never allowed someone to get that close to me.
This isn't a feel sorry for myself piece either, as I don't do that. I have areas that need improvement. See time management.
One good thing about never being loved by anyone that isn't family is that I've never had to break anyone's heart. Or do the awkward break up move out.
My last break up was rather easily: "I said thanks asshole," and never talked to them again.
It was a matter of respect.
With that said, the sexual relations were far superior to any of the ones that were flings. I can attest to that statement without a shadow of a doubt.
P.S. That photo is by me and is my intellectual property.
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