Neurotic fear of some situations

Well I can be neurotic at times and here are some of those thoughts. I always try to avoid these pitfalls.

I generally don't fear much. But given these situations they are my worst case scenarios that I hope never occur.

1) Defecating in a public restroom without toilet paper.


The solution to this is simple. If nature is a calling make sure you're at home or at a relatives place. In the extreme case you have to relief a bowel movement, make sure you've checked the stall has toilet paper in it and a back up, just in case you had taco night or a spicy food extravaganza.  Clearly, you would have already been using the toilet paper to wipe down the seat and put toilet paper down on the seat for when you sit. Perhaps, though you had an extreme situation because of napalm diarrhea you are about to have. Let's hope you checked before you cluster shat in that unfortunate toilet.

2) No soap in the dispenser. 

Perhaps you have just finished the mother of all defecation. Now you just want to wash up and be on your merry way. Well pal you just might be out of luck with no soap in the dispenser. This has almost happened to me once. The soap dispenser was broken so I had to remove the soap so I could get it out and onto my hands.

In the extreme, case you can always waltz into the women's washroom after knocking and raid it for soap. 

3) Annoying push down taps.

Frequent Toronto Island? Well most of the public washrooms have those annoying you have to hold down the tap for 10 seconds of water that doesn't clean the soap you've lathered onto your hands. I had to use the bathroom once in a place that the sink was just in line with my waist. I am rather flexible. I will utilize my feet to pick stuff up when barefoot at home. So I lathered up my hands and used my right foot to hold down the tap while maintaining my balance with my left foot. Needless to say I won that day. So you can utilize your foot for sure if you're flexible enough. Or use paper towels if available and wash one hand at a time. If you don't have paper towels you may just have to suck it up in this situation or then utilize the foot method.

4) No automatic door or paper towels because the taps are manually shut off.

In this situation, you have the classic turn the taps on and you can turn them off when done. The problem here is you don't have paper towels at your disposal to turn them off. You can always leave them running if an automatic door presents itself. However, some places aren't handicapped friendly and still didn't get the memo that wheelchair bound people can't open doors really well. In this situation you leave the taps running and open the door to freedom with your sleeve or part of your shirt. The problem with turning the taps off by hand after you've lathered and cleaned them is you're just putting those germs that you had on your hands back onto them by touching said taps. Establishments should really switch to the automatic on and off taps or have paper towels (preferably of the recycled nature) available.

To conclude, the most frequent of the situations is by far number four. To add a new point. I usually avoid at all costs to defecate at a lady's place that I am seeing. I feel like they'd be judging me or something. Another worse case scenario, is when empty washroom stalls are bountiful and someone pulls up a seat next to you. It personally cramps my style and now I have to smell and hear this person's bowel movement. On top of the fact, I freeze up and have to now wait until they leave, so I can complete my wiping and toilet experience.